Yesterday afternoon about 4 PM I went out to get my mail as I often do. Its a nice little walk naked in the sunshine. It normally takes me about 15 minutes to walk down there and back. Being naked is legal here unless you are doing something “indecent” or are intending to cause someone else to be alarmed or affronted. Minding your own business such as getting your mail naked is neither of those so its legal. My mailbox is on the far side of a public road. The last 300 feet of my driveway is visible from the road, but has thin woods on either side.
Yesterday as I walked toward the mail box I was perhaps 75 feet from the public road when I heard a car approaching. I don't want to be accused of intending to affront a passing person so I turned and walked away from the road while a black car passed headed south. My thinking is that anyone who sees only the backside of a naked person would have a hard time convincing police or prosecutor that I was intending to cause him to be alarmed or affronted. I was probably 200 feet away from the public road when he went past.
After the black car passed I turned toward my mailbox again. I heard vehicle noise from south and soon decided it was too loud for the black sedan that had passed. I moved back somewhat from the road but not as far. Soon two large pickup trucks towing long trailers went past going north. Their long trailers each had part of the header off a wheat harvester combine. Those harvesters have gotten so big that their cutting header must be removed and turned end-wise to travel on a road from one field to the next. This one apparently came out in two pieces that I would guess to be about 36 feet long. I stood there watching them pass going north.
After the farm machinery passed, I once again began walking toward my mail box. As I near the public road I always look for (rare) pedestrian traffic. This time there were two women north of me walking south toward me. Once again I turned and walked up my driveway away from the public road. I had not gotten as far as the corner of my driveway when the women passed. I was perhaps 300 feet or about 100 meters and walking away with an open driveway for them to look down as they passed. I thought about giving up, so much traffic today, but after they had passed I turned and began walking toward my mail again. When I finally arrived at the public road I could see them quite a distance to the south and walking away. That was far enough and their backs were turned so I walked across the road and got a small package and two letters from the box. I looked again as I walked back across the road toward my driveway. The two women had rounded a curve and passed out of sight.
Half an hour later I was sitting by my computer and noticed a pickup truck arriving up my driveway. I debated with myself whether to answer my door naked, but decided to put on some shorts and go see who it was. I arrived at the front of my house when the door bell rang,. It was one of my neighbors. He explained his concern that his 13 year old daughter had seen me naked. (Oh the horror.) He said he understood my freedom on my own land, but his daughter often walks on the public road, and he doesn't want her seeing me getting the mail.
OMG! I was seen by a 13 year old female. Her life is ruined. Oh the trauma.
He said he doesn't mind me doing whatever I like on my own place, and has seen me getting my mail himself in the past. But, hes said, his daughter should not see. He suggested maybe I should wait until after dark to get my mail. Well, I thought, after 10 years of going naked it seems that my intentional neighborhood reputation as “that old naked codger” has worked.
I thought about arguing that his daughter had not been harmed, and in fact was educated about her own species by casually observing another human, but I didn't want to engage in argument. I promised to look more carefully when approaching the road to see if anyone was out walking. That seemed to satisfy his need to rant, so he agreed to that plan and left.
His daughter and whomever she was with probably had been giggling about “that naked man” when they arrived home. I never got close enough to them for me to see any details to estimate their ages or other description. From 300 feet or so their shapes appeared to be female. They would have needed very sharp vision to see any details about me from that distance. Her father felt a need to “protect” his daughter by ranting to the naked guy. Purity must be preserved. We have to pretend that hormonal 13 year old females are still “children,” and they aren't thinking about men every 6 minutes. Seeing a man, even at a distance, might teacher her the wrong message, or cause her a psychological trauma. Heck, it may even give her an idea that its OK to be seen going naked in the woods. Now that I think about it, she may walk more often to get another look.
I'm going to count this as a negative encounter while roaming naked in the world. The young women were not harmed, and probably enjoyed the view, but the encounter resulted in negative push back from our anti-body culture. I observed that the encounter had not resulted in police arriving at my door. Either father had not reported to police, or the police may have understood its legal to get your mail naked. Either way my reputation as “that old naked codger” is affirmed, and I didn't promise not to get my mail naked.