Phobic and/or inappropriate comments.

We're keen at <a href="http://www.naktiv.net">the Naktiv site</a> to keep a level playing field. This means being accepting of each other's differences, and non-judgemental wherever possible. This utopia is not always possible, and some of us make inappropriate comments, from time to time, even when we do not mean to. Furthermore constantly being politically correct can be entirely tiresome, although engaging brain before speaking is almost always a good idea. Being non-PC does not mean accepting phobic bullying though, (of any kind), and such inappropriate behaviour will be swiftly and appropriately dealt with, usually this means a summary ban. However, this automatic and satisfyingly clumsy knee-jerk response is not the only one available to us.

We have people here, who are naked and who are active, they may even be "classic" naturists. Those same people might be gay, or trans, or bi, or (oh the horror) even heterosexual, or goodness knows what else. Jodiee's <a href="http://www.naktiv.net/blog/601/a-guide-to-understanding-trans/">blog</a> makes for an interesting read on this topic. People with a common interest should be promoting that common interest, not focusing on the differences. It's important that we learn to be able to accept other people for who they are, and not to impose our own expectations on others. What this means is not going around telling people: "tootsie must b the whacky bakky". Neither does it mean saying: "if you don't like my gay friends, that means you must be gay!". Neither does it mean saying: "well, fuck you and your liberal wackos!"

These situations are sometimes one-sided bullying, and sometimes these situations are people trying to control others via being a loud crying victim. Sometimes it's simply hard to tell the difference, and it's especially hard when there is a mixture of both involved, we humans are complicated. Basically we've seen all of this before, and we'll see all of this again. The important thing for a loosely connected network of individuals and free-thinking people is that we can try to educate people, one another, as to what the appropriate behaviour might be at any given time. Rest assured, if this attempt fails, the ban functionality *will* be used. However, if no aspiration at education is even attempted, then surely this is also a fail?

As active participants in this situation, (whether you like it or not), we all need to take a step back and to consider how we can contribute in a positive manner to the current situation. How can we reduce the friction, and how can we increase the mutual understanding factor. Only then will we actually promote any kind of real change in our world. Without that, we are the same as "them", whoever they are.

Speech over, discuss.

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20 thoughts on “Phobic and/or inappropriate comments.”

  1. in a lot of instances it is obvious that comments are just meant as flames, judgements, and so on. in others , text based communications especially it is hard to tell what is just heated discussion. In text based communication we do not have the added indicators of vocal inflection, facial action and so forth. sometimes avidly held beliefs can seem confrontational when in fact they are not meant that way.

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  2. The way I always like to look at things is to ask whether a judgement of someone else's life or choices helps me or them in any way whatsoever. The answer is almost universally "no," which is telling and instructive to me to simply drop almost all judgements. The point is to enjoy and appreciate life–to have fun. Being naked with one-another IS a great way to do that, and to learn to accept own selves first, as already pointed out. By doing that firstly we go a long way toward accepting the choices made by others. i think it is less about acceptance versus simply learning to let go of the need to judge and, instead, just focus on having fun.

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  3. From my own personal experience, I have found when you let go of your own necessity for validation by others, and focus instead upon personal acceptance, you are somewhat immune to all but your own scrutiny.

    The interesting aspect of judgement, is that more often than not you project your own prejudices, fears and assumptions outwards, and in so doing, don't necessarily correctly perceive what others may, or may not, be thinking or saying about you. What's more, where bigoted ignorance is concerned, when you take offense, you're really valuing the opinion of a misinformed ignoramus versus your own, far more informed and knowledgeable insights into your personal situation.

    In my opinion, the widespread view that those inclined toward nudity are more accepting of a given individual, than others in the wider community, is somewhat misguided. In many instances, just below that veneer of non – conformity are very static, often rigid and conservative ideals about what is acceptable, and what is not. There is in my view, tremendous fear that if certain standards and conduct of behavior are not strictly adhered to, broad acceptance within the wider community is not as likely. From my personal perspective observing all that I have observed, the overall philosophy and behavior of many with an inclination toward nudity is sufficient in and of itself to maintain the current rates of prejudice toward the practice.

    Both blog posts were interesting reads.

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  4. Love it. Let's learn from our differences. Diversity is enriching. Evolution is only possible because of cross pollinisation. Enjoy the day, continue to live naked and celebrate nudity as the equalizer of mankind! We have all the same body, but such a wonderful diversity of minds…

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  5. Richard and Jodiee you are both so right, let's celebrate our commonality and out differences, let's everyone of us strive to do the right thing by each other. It'll make for a better experience here and in the bigger world. Each one of us should set an example for others to follow. Nakedness is wonderful and a great base to build from.

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  6. Love you for this!! Thank you Rich and on behalf of any LGBTQ members here. I've had so much welcoming here but there has been a small number of people not really understanding / Dont want to understand or resort to the stupid status' referring to me as "tootsie (A drag queen)". It's not acceptable.

    In this day and age, You'd think we'd be educating one another in a orderly manner, but it seems so many just don't want too. Life, as rich said, is very complex. Some of us are born what society would perceive as "normal", Whilst others like-myself, have a harder living trying to deal with being born the wrong gender. The main message is, all we want is abit of love and acceptance. Even someone just saying "Hey, Hows your day going?", It's that bond with people that can create good friendships if you just push this "physical" barrier out the way.

    By that I mean, someones sexuality, Gender identify, disability, race etc etc. We are all beings and we all deserve the right to a space where we are welcomed and can be ourselves and Naktiv sure does try to deliver that 100%.

    As I say, the love i have got from so many does make me for once, feel welcomed and appreciated having lost so many in my life just for me doing the right thing. and for once in my life, it's such a nice feeling. But, that doesn't mean to say that there are things that'll still come fourth like the blog on questions. If we just learned to love the inside, we can learn to love each other. and loving one another is the best way to move a society forward X

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