Puzzled

A post on a nudist site today got me to thinking, a rare event.

I'm a nudist, meaning I prefer to lounge without clothing. Clothing at work is essential since the temperature is not optimal. Clothing while shopping is essential since social norms suggest I don gay apparel. Clothing while in public view is essential due to current laws.

I'm a social nudist, meaning I enjoy my time with other naked men... sexually or otherwise. I prefer sexual nudity, but I'm happy just hanging out with other nude men. Haven't puzzled out why I'm attracted to the activity just yet... working on it. I could associate nudity with sex and feel a sense of arousal and am denying it. I could just enjoy the rebellion of the situation and haven't yet made the link in my brain. Whatever the reason for my enjoyment, I intend to pursue it.

The interesting post mentioned a person's sense of privacy. That's psychologically a control thing; I want to control knowledge of others about what I consider "private" information. I tell people my secrets, or choose not to.

I am a nudist who feels no need to announce it. I consider my nudism a hobby and considering it's eccentric nature consider the activity a private one. Yet I'm a social nudist. I intend to get nude this summer in various locals where I can be viewed by others. Granted, due to the laws, these will be others who have agreed to witness my nudity rather than the general public who have not given such permission.

So I am a hypocrite. I consider being nude in public a private activity and want to control the spread of that knowledge. Worse, I've started this public blog discussing this private activity. I don't necessarily share the address to everyone. In fact, I've only shared the address with a relative few. Yet anyone may access, read, and comment on the site. Anyone can know.

I've yet to divine this hypocrisy and resolve it. Eventually, surely I will understand my own mind on the issue and alter my behavior accordingly. Perhaps I'll join the activists in broadening the public's understanding and acceptance of nudity. Perhaps I'll stop this blog, delete as much as Google will allow, and abandon all public nudity. Perhaps I'll simply accept my hypocrisy as yet another conundrum of my personality and carry on without resolution.

As posted on http://troynbr2.blogspot.com

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24 thoughts on “Puzzled”

  1. "I consider being nude in public a private activity" I'm not quite sure what you mean by that. It can be argued that nude at a nudist venue is not nude in public, as they are usually private establishments that require membership. A gathering of friends in a private home is also not public. There is no line in the sand that I see. If I saw one I'd probably swish it away or consider it a challenge.

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    • I applaud the rebellion, sir! When you find the line I'll bring the birch branch myself.

      Membership into a venue is a convenient way to abide the laws regarding "public view." Since I don't actually know many of the people at any venue, on a personal level, they are public. Even when I'm an old-hat at these things, there are still going to be members I have never met before. Calling them "friends" is more courtesy than reality. I'm friend-ly, perhaps.

      While writing the original blog I was thinking of my venture out to Minneapolis to join the men of Naked Minnesota for one of their house-parties. They were just short of being the "general public" to me and vice versa as I didn't know a soul. Had a great time though and will join them again at a pool party over Memorial Day weekend.

      I'll be sure to bring the broom… just in case I see that pesky line.

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      • Ah, I see you use a different definition of "public" than I do. You seem to be talking more about strangers. To me public means the general public, the possibility of anyone and everyone having access. When I go somewhere where there is a predetermined agreement of sorts as to people who don't wear clothes, or whatever group you are attending, then I'm not amongst the general public, and so feel less a degree of anxiety, and more a degree of trust.

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  2. There is an ancient question in Eastern philosophy that asks, "Who am I?"
    If you answer that question in a fairly typical Western manner, my name is, I'm this that and the other thing, you're doomed to be defined not only by the world around you, but also by things you feel attached to in the world. Pieces of data etc.

    Second guessing yourself is a similar torture. For as long as you're not unquestioningly being, you're not completely being. Part of your mind isn't there, it's off somewhere else wondering, is this right or is this wrong. It can't change what has transpired so what's the point? You can only decide, is this enjoyable or is it not. If you're not allowing yourself to wholly experience it then there might be less chance of enjoyment.

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    • That goes against more philosophy of Eastern and Western wise men I don't know where to start.

      Worry not, though. I do not lie awake at night pondering ALL of my decisions. Anyone who would like to Google my name will find I have made heinous choices in the past and now question everything; from why do I brush my teeth in the morning to the questions I've laid bare here.

      For me, and perhaps only me, to coast blithely with my ambitions has a habit of hurting others for my enjoyment. I question it all. My enjoyment is only acceptable if my intent is acceptable… especially if it is acceptable to people who would condemn my actions as proof I am no different than the punk twink of so long ago.

      I appreciate the advice to live in the moment, Buddhism teaches this very ideal. However, it also teaches that if one's actions lead to harm it is to be abandoned. If after observation and contemplation I witness karma bearing bad fruit I am to know my volition sowed the seeds. I whole-heartedly agree with this type of second guessing.

      The type I assume you refer to is the type that keeps me from acting in the first place; out of fear of unknown consequence or shame of past consequence. This I do try to avoid. Simply because I couldn't maintain healthy relationships with adult in the past doesn't mean I don't try in the present. Just because I used sexuality to ill purpose doesn't mean I'm doing it now, just I believe I need to consider the possibility.

      Originally, I was questioning that blurry line between public and private, people's expectation of both, and the place in society for both; but I thank you for the personalization. Bringing the abstract concept home helps.

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  3. It's really a question of the times as we all discuss national security & privacy. It's not just my personal reasoning for engaging in social nudity, but rather finding the line in the sand… and why it's drawn there.

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  4. I see no hypocrisy in keeping some things to yourself. You're only a hypocrite if you openly say one thing , then do another. We all practice a bit of discernment, revealing some parts of ourselves only to those of like mind but not to those who might be judgmental. Don't sweat it; you're among friends not only here, but wherever you're comfortable getting naked with others. So carry on, with resolution to be yourself and enjoy it.

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