Jesters Tear

This is My blog from yesterday

Today is the day I said to myself this morning gathering
the courage I made packed lunch consisting of bacon butties and
took a bottle of water out of the fridge I check the studland
naturist beach website and programmed the postcode into my
sat nav. In my bag I packed my phone and I pad and a beach towel
and bath towel I had my shorts on under my jeans and a
T shirt and left the house . it was approx an hr and a
half away according to my sat nav and I dont really remember the
motorway there as I had all sorts of things going through my head such as
can I really do this ? What happens if people stare at me, what
happens if I stare at others!!! What happens if the worse scenario
happens and I get aroused etc… As I got near my destination
I was sitting in a queue of traffic for about 20 mins getting
frustrated as other cars were passing me I pulled out to find that
this was a queue for the ferry across to studland I hadnt read
about that I drove back round the one way system and still not
thinking straight pulled to the front of the queue and
when the ferry came in boarded. It wasnt until we were halfway
across when the ferry master tapped on my window saying that I
apparently had queue jumped and a lot of cars behind me were
angry !! I made a sincere apology explaining that I hadnt
been here before and didnt realise etc and was
really embarrassed welcome to studland I thought to myself.

I paid my fee for a ticket , parked and started to
walk down the beach for what felt like ages all the time
thinking about my worries
I was that much in thought that I
didnt notice walking past the first few cloth less people.

Then it hit me! I felt nervous walking along the beach and for a
few moments looked for an escape route! Then decided there was nothing left to
do as I was one of the few clothed so dumped my stuff by the banks put down my
bath towel and slipped off my shoes socks
and jeans I looked at the sea
there were others in it and people walking along the beach all carrying on
enjoying the sun and air. I carried on slipping off my t shirt and shorts and made a bee line for the sea. As my feet touched the water I let out a
small shriek as it was cold
and kept walking in Once it got up to my waist I took a deep
breath and ducked under I was in ! What
an amazing feeling! The sea breeze the water against me and the feeling of belonging
as I swam for a good 30 mins. I
then got out and walked to where I had dumped my clothes sat on the towel and immediately came
into the TN chat room to tell my
friends where I was I was so proud I had done this.

I after lunch
I brought a coffee from the refreshments
wagon on the beach this
felt very normal apart from the
fact the people in the line as I were all naked and I
thought to myself yes this is how its
meant to be ,

I had a lie on the towel
for an hr or so feeling the sun on me
before one last swim and heading
home I picked up my belongings and continued walking along the beach as far as I could before putting on my shorts and leaving the nudist area .

I enjoyed myself and was so proud
that I had overcome an anxiety today that I have brought a season ticket for the car
parks and hope to go there again later this week