I am having one of my days. I feel fine for the most part but feel as though all my efforts are for naught. I figure it is a type of depression but don't like to feel this way. I used to be more upbeat and would smile trying to cheer others up. I read a post on Facebook not long ago that said the happiest people are usually the ones who need the most help. I have for years gone out of my way to help others, whether with the physical world, or emotional. I am tall so help others reach what is up high. I have a great listening ability and can fathom solutions or even give advice that helps in some way…or just listen as that is all that is needed sometimes.

But I am tired. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of being there for others. I sometimes feel I am not appreciated by those I engage in conversation. I know I am a valued person, and that my talents are not wasted, yet I yearn for more concrete results. I am a patient person, and forgiving to a point. I am quiet and kind.

I feel broken at times. It may be from my failed marriage years ago. It may be from the fact I can't support myself outside of my parents home. I want to cry, but can't for I have no reason to. I am blessed for having a loving family, good friends(though none are close by), and good health. I am a talented cook, can anticipate when the food is at the near perfect condition or the right cooking time. Yet I still feel as though I am incomplete. I need advice maybe, though I don't know for what. Even when I am happy I feel this way though it is diminished by large degrees it is still there. Perhaps there is no solution, or maybe I can not see it, either way I write this because I feel the need to express myself. I just don't know.

6 thoughts on “Emotion”

  1. David, I hope you're feeling better by now.
    Periods like that happen to sensitive people, they happen when you ride the waves of life that go up and down.
    Good luck, hang in there, and talk to us whenever you need. We may not be there in person, to pat you on the back and go for a walk and talk, but we're here for you.

  2. I sympathize with you David. I don't like feeling that way either. In my life, those feelings that you describe have turned out to be amongst my best of omens for good things to come. The feelings may last for years, they are something that many people seem to experience at some time in their lives, they may be an essential part of a transitional period in your life. You've made one of the best choices possible for the present, in my humble opinion, in writing and expressing yourself. Sit down and cry, it feels good. Crying will clear your soul and bring you into the moment. While in that new-found moment, engage yourself without passing judgement in whatever lays directly in front of you. Emotion is a gift to you not to be swept away with undue haste. Exploring it is key to you finding your way on your journey. Find professional help if these feelings seem to be dragging on for you unnecessarily. Whatever happens or whatever you do David, seize this opportunity in your life and follow your heart. And of course, stay naked.

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