Grappling . . .

My poll "As a Christian who have you told at your Church that you are a nudist/naturist?", received some very valued comments. One of the comments asked what does it matter what religion you belong to, as to why you would be willing to remove your clothing. A reply was offered "I get the sense this poll is more about grappling with a personal dilemma. . ." That is correct, I am grappling with the issue of nudity and social nudity.

This struggle is based on two aspects, my past experience and what I was taught. And then I guess it also has to with trying to understand myself, reasons why I enjoy being nude and what the Word of the Lord has to say on this matter. If you look at those two sentences there is a broad topic that can be covered. In this blog I will attempt to share everything, so that you can understand what my issues better.

But before I continue, I just want to make it clear, I'm not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me. I have worked through these issues, I am at peace about them and what happened, happened.

Let me start with my upbringing first. I grew up in a Christian home and nudity was never accepted, even between my brother and I. In fact even the topic of puberty was never discussed with me when I hit my teen years. I don't think that would have helped though, as by my teen years I already knew quite a bit, even if I did not understand.

You see when I was about eight a four year sexual "relation" was started with me. I use the word relation because for the better part of my life I never considered it as abuse. When this ended I turned to pornography and masturbation, even thought at one stage that I was homosexual. I also enjoyed being nude, due to this nudity I was asked to leave scouting as I encourage youngsters to be nude with me.

Anyway I sought counselling, committed my life to the Lord, forgave my abuser to the point that I played a role in them turning to the Lord themselves. Pornography and masturbation still played a roll in my life even after I married and had 2 kids. Before the kids arrived though I would often be in the nude, after they arrived I was persuaded to only be nude in bedroom. About 5 years ago my wife found the porn stash on my pc and was furious but at the same time committed to our marriage. We received counselling and been working hard on understanding each others needs. I can say I've been free from pornography and masturbation since then. But inside I still long to be clothing free at home.

So last year we discussed this concept and agreed that I could be nude whenever I wanted throughout the house, unless the kids have a problem with it. It was during this time that I started searching the scriptures to try and find a biblical principle on nudity, as we know that there is nowhere written: "Thou may not be nude" or anything similar. This search also led me to a greater understanding of naturist and social nudity. I would love to try social nudity, but due to various factors my wife is not interested and I don't want to attend any social gathering without her.

And thus to be nude or not to be nudist more of understanding myself and thus I'm continually processing my thoughts and understanding. The number one reason is that I do not want anything I do to be contrary to the Word of the Lord.

I've shared a fair amount of information in this blog and I want to thank those who have commented on my previous blogs and polls. I will continue to grapple with various issues but my hope is that I will better understand myself, my motives and principles to be nude and together with my wife, one day, enjoy social nudity as well.

6 thoughts on “Grappling . . .”

  1. I remember reading many years ago a comment by a quote, unquote, scholar, that the Jews did not have any restrictions on nudity but that it was prohibited to look upon and shame a naked person. The "and shame" was the issue.
    Peace be with you.

  2. I doubt that the following will offer much solace, but it undoubtedly is food for thought.

    Acceptance, appreciation and contentment are the triad of values we predominantly aspire to.

    Fear, guilt, shame and disgust are the four forces of our nature that cloud our perspective and obscure the presence of our inner ability.

    Whether or not you are a person of faith, it is the personal demons within your own mind that torment you.
    Many people atone themselves through faith, prayer and fasting, but ultimately they are appeasing their own demons in a manner they are culturally accustomed. Once a personal penance is paid, the negative feelings within ease somewhat with the knowledge that you have at least done something. A sense of inner peace and acceptance can prevail.

    Although it may not seem like it to a person of faith, you are only ever in battle with yourself. Your own self accusation, your own self atonement.

    You can delve as deeply into your mind as you like, and the analysis of what God wants for you is only ever your own analysis of external inputs. You may consult as far and wide as you like. Ultimately what you accept as God's will or intent is that which you yourself believe to be so.

    Anything that aligns with your fundamental beliefs and analysis will be accepted. That which contradicts and doesn't align with what you think and feel to be right will be rejected. This process is formally known as confirmation bias. Whereas it may seem to you that some external force guides your thinking, in reality it's you who ultimately decides what to believe or reject.

    People sometimes feel guilty for indulging in pleasurable experiences because deep down they don't consider themselves worthy.

    It isn't a sin to feel pleasure and contentment. As a parent you know that the one thing you want for your kids is happiness. On the whole you want them to lead happy carefree life's with enough challenge that they can learn and grow.

    It's interesting how much you'll tolerate as a parent. Your love is fairly unconditional. You know when your kids aren't being perfect little angels, but you're happy to give them leeway. Rarely do they mean any real ill intent. They may have flawed judgement, but rarely if ever are they vindictive with outright malice and evil intent. Even the greatest evil is done with good intent. At best people are misguided.

    This should serve as a pretty good guide for yourself. It's far too easy to get caught up in the technicalities of "sin". Sometimes you're so caught up fighting personal demons that they defeat you by stealth. That is, they stop you truly enjoying the experiences of life. Rather than being joyful, accepting of yourself and others and really appreciating what life has to offer. You instead are weighed down by guilt, fear and shame.

    If you are leading a contented life at the expense of no one, including yourself, that is perhaps the most faithful and respective thing you can accomplish. People really do burden themselves unnecessarily. In some cases this can lead to self destructive behaviours that go on to negatively impact others.

    Many, if not all, answers invariably lie within. Often you know the answer to something but just don't want to face it. Time and experience teach you to trust yourself. They are also the forces that mould you if you're daring enough to have an inquisitive mind. Therefore trust yourself every once in a while. You'd be quite amazed how reliable a source you often turn out to be 🙂

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