The Single Male Discrimination Policy

I think this issue needs to be addressed, because it is a destabilizing hypocrisy in the nudist community. The nudist community has largely adopted an ideology of acceptance and equality for all. This issue regards the commonly practiced single male discrimination policy, which bars men from attending nudist resorts if they are not accompanied by a woman. The policy often remains against men who are married, but not accompanied by their wives. Apparently to the resort, "my wife is not a nudist" is not a valid excuse for coming alone. This issue came up on Facebook when someone advertised a place where the "SMD" policy was practiced, and I thought it would be appropriate as a Naktiv siteblog:

Many people don't understand why a single male discrimination policy is counterproductive to stabilizing the nudist community.

Nudists simply need to accept the fact that nudism is a male majority community. Eventually when society better matures, more females will join.

But discriminating against single males will only shrink the nudist community, which in turn will create a snowball effect, because the smaller a minority is, the more of a spectacle they become as individuals.

Video-gaming used to be a male majority community. But the male gamers weren't concerned about the gender of their co-players. Eventually, women got curious about gaming, and they too joined in.

But the problem that needs to be addressed with single male discrimination is that it pressures single males to convert women to nudism. What if a man is a gay nudist? Then what does he do?

Sometimes nudism gets a bad rap because non nudists perceive us as pushing our lifestyle on to them. This is exactly what the single male discrimination policy pressures males to do, just to be able to join the club and embrace their nudist dignity.

There is a huge quantity of single males! To pressure them to try to convert non nudist women will only bring negative attention to us.

Not only that, but the single male discrimination policy focuses too much on the community as a whole and neglects the actual individual. This adds up and eventually affects the community. How is a single male to feel about himself or nudism in general if he is turned away just for being single. It implies that males are not people, but an excess quantity.

A very inconsiderate policy, indeed!

12 thoughts on “The Single Male Discrimination Policy”

  1. Phil & I used to frequent a really lovely Health Spa in Clifton, Bristol called the Relaxation Centre. It ran mixed sex days, men only days. women only days & a couple of Couples & Single Women only sessions. The mixed sessions frequently were predominantly men, but as those sessions fitted in with my work/life schedule we went to those, but I was often the only woman there. And that made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Yes the guys were nearly always well behaved but sitting in a hot tub surrounded by guys, some of who inadvertently or deliberately sat so close they came into contact with me (not to mention failing to look away when I climbed out!) just put me off. When we started to go to the couples only sessions I felt so much more at ease. Unfortunately, those single guys made so many other women feel bad that the centre decided to impose a "no more clothing optional" rule, we ALL had to wear costumes, even in the couples only sessions.
    It's a sad fact that single guys have an undeserved reputation, but the bad behaviour of a few has tarred you all with the same brush.
    We also used to frequent Studland beach in Dorset, but there too single guys were often so badly behaved that we ended up going off in search of a beach without dunes, just to escape the frankly sordid behaviour of those few moronic guys.
    I'm no prude, I realise that going naked will entail displaying my genitals, but as long as guys insist in staring at me below the waistline, or fondling themselves while engaging in conversation, I will try to avoid places where single guys go.

    • You mention your experiences with bad behavior from some of the men at the nude beach in Dorset. We have a similar problem here at our local nude beach (Playalinda). Actually two problems.

      We occasionally get voyeuristic males gawking with binoculars and sometimes even using cameras and video recorders, usually in a concealed fashion. This is not criminal activity though it violates an unspoken creed amongst nudists that this behavior is not acceptable.

      The second more serious problem is that certain parts of the beach have become meeting spots for gay men who perform sex acts. A large number of these hookups are initiated on Craigslist and other similar websites. This carves a virtual, scarlet letter P (pervert) on the foreheads of all nudists when arrests are made and reported in the media.

  2. Naturist clubs in New Zealand use to take this view, but now they are struggling for new memberships and to pay for the upkeep of their grounds. Now they tend accept everyone: gay, straight, bi, lesbian, young or old, or anything in between. They even take one-off day passes for $10. To me, this is a much better way of operating, providing everyone abides by the usual rules, everyone is happy and there are very few issues. There will always be more men than women in naturist clubs, that's just the facts of statistics. If clubs want to adopt the policy of male/female 'couples' only, that in my book is discrimination. If women feel uncomfortable about being nude in the presence of too many men, maybe they should start a women's only naturist club – like they do with Gyms!

  3. Maybe, but that male/female ratio is the way the nudist population is. That's reality. Just as with the gym, there can be a time for women only or men only. They also have gay nudist venue to cater to that sort.

    If the nudist resort is specifically a couples retreat, then the single male discrimination would be understandable, but to be fair, that should also apply to single women as well. After all, that's a couple's retreat concept.

    But not every man is looking for women. Especially at a nudist resort where the odds of meeting a woman is close to winning the lottery.

    If you're not looking for a woman, then it doesn't matter how the male / female ratio is. And if it's not a dating or couples venue, then an anti-single male policy is discriminatory.

  4. I suspect, but have no hard evidence, that a high ratio of men to women at a nudist community may make some women uncomfortable. Your goal is laudable but somewhat Pollyannaish. Men will inundate these communities, not for the aim of nudism, but instead for voyeuristic reasons. That will destroy the nudist lifestyle faster than anything. The internet is full of exhibitionist sites where men post their dick pix. You'll attract lots of those folks. Maybe I'm being a bit pessimistic but that's reality as I see it.

    The women/couple only rule is similar to women's night at a bar/nightclub where the women don't have to worry about being hit on all night long. I have been a member of several gyms which had women only periods of gym use because the women complained of being gawked at or hit on. I could cite many other similar examples.

    • Then resorts should set up women only nights or activities. Instead of rules against single males, the rules should be against voyeurism, including by those who happen to be coupled. But let's face it, all of nudists like to see other nudists, so voyeurism rules would be hard to define. Most already have rules against overt sexuality anyway.

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