We usually have the good fortune to know 'nice' people. We don't try and be judgemental about everyone we meet but instinctively we seem to gravitate towards 'nice' people. What I mean by that is we meet people who have a caring & compassionate side to their nature, they look for good things in life & tend to share happier aspects of what happens. They try to be helpful & will often come to offer some of their own good luck or little treat if they can. We reciprocate and blend much better with people who shy away from the unpleasant things & the grisly side of daily news & gossip. Of course there's no real way of knowing how your relationship with 'newcomers' is going to develop or bear fruit. From time to time we come across a "wrong'n" or someone who suddenly seems greatly different to what our first impressions made us believe.
On Christmas Eve an elderly lady that we knew in our local neighbourhood sadly died. It wasn't expected even though she had attained the good age of 92. She had a vibrant & lovely nature, a smile & cheeky grin that could make anyone feel comfortable. She would often tease younger people and regale them of stories from her own young life. In these last 10 to 14 years she has had a carer calling in to 'assist' her twice every day & she continued to live independently of relatives & all the care homes & institutions that offer quality home from home places. The carer would help her prepare meals, do laundry & keep the flat basically tidy. The only 'personal' care that she had to administer was making sure that the correct tablets were taken at the correct times.
Sadly it was this same very kind carer who found the sweetest lady 'asleep' in her own armchair. With a tight hold on her own emotions she contacted paramedics and a doctor, though the sad truth was all too obvious. Only when the accepted procedures had happened and when our lovely friend had been taken to the undertakers did the carer give way to her own feelings of deep deep sadness & loss. Her once staunch frame crumpled and she sat on the floor crying so much, her grief almost too powerful to control.
Some few days later another neighbour, who I shall call 'Bob' decided to become the bearer of the sad news to anyone he thought would not already know. Not the nicest of things to do, but 'Bob' has added a twist to his version of events of that sad time. According to 'Bobs' version it was the "Slow & pathetically lax attitude of the carer that resulted in the actuall death!" He took some measure of pride in spreading this scandalous gossip & vileness to whoever would listen. The feelings that we have for him now vary wildly from sheer abhorrence to an actual hatred for the way he has wrongly brought shameful disrespect to the carer. The torment is with us, we thought previously that he was a nice man, now we feel he has the very satan inside his mind. We will do whatever we can to see that his evilness is eliminated and the wrongful slander is rectified.
All is not what it seems when you meet someone is it, can we ever be certain who the 'nice people' are?
12 thoughts on “Nice man.. NOT!”
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'Bob' sems to be an attention-seeker. Knowing you, is there any chance of just telling him to shut up. (If I'm allowed to say this – s*d off, more like!)
Emotion & Logic are not compatible together. When intense high emotions kick in, logic goes out the window : ( I know "unfortunately" by my own experience.
In highly emotional scenario's or when logical reasoning seems unattainable by some, I would rather walk away to a calm place with my dignity & tact in place. A time away from a 'volatile' scene is often all that I need to see things more clearly.
Hard to understand for sure! my philosophy is that everyone is a "nice " person until proven otherwise as was the case here. God bless and keep your departed friend and her caring caregiver at this very difficult time.
Sad and sad.
Try as I might, I cannot see what 'Bob' hoped to gain by adding such information. Even if it had been true (and I doubt that it ever could be) adding such information does not lessen the blow of the sad news (quite the opposite, I would think) or in any way enhance the recipient's memory of the dear departed lady.