Our neighbour often pops in for a chat, most times I am naked but my wife will be partly dressed. (She soon puts pants on!). The only issue we have with our neighbour (Tricia) being so regular in & out of our home is that to some extent she has started using our kitchen pretty much as if it were her own! It is great that our naturist lifestyle is accepted by many neighbours including this one, its great also that nudity in our home is virtually disregarded and is part of our 'fitting-in' with folk. When our lovely friend came in this morning she readily helped herself to coffee & biscuits, she chatted for quite some time about her families health issues, most of which is far beyond anything we could be involved in. Just as she was about to leave via our front door a parcel delivery person arrived with a small package for us, luckily I was right there to receive it but the ease with witch she guided the person to my naked self was stunning. Yes it is nice to have our social nakedness accepted, yes it is good that our neighbour feels at ease in our home. The things that are not good are her using our stuff as if it were her own, making total strangers meet-up with my nakedness without asking anyone about it & just being so forward as to 'govern' each of these type of situations.
So, after a discussion with my wife at lunchtime, I asked Tricia to come around to our home, we got dressed before she arrived. When she came in (yes she just came in!) she gasped "Oh what's happened you have your clothes on?" We sat her down and then proceeded to calmly but definitely tell her a few things like, we would appreciate it more if she waited at the door to be met before coming into our home, secondly she ought to not make use of anything including coffee in our home unless we asked her to do that. Thirdly we said that whilst it is great that our naturist lifestyle is acknowledged by her and others we ourselves must decide who see's us nude at our front door which is directly onto the main street.
Oddly Tricia didn't respond. She just stood up and walked out of our home. Now we are unsure what that reaction means & how she now regards us. Would you have done anything another way?
46 thoughts on “Neighbours at home!”
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You may be quite right to leave it alone. Nice to hear that she is still talking and being amicable. TY for the update.
Just wondering Patrick, has she returned for a visit, or avoiding your place completely.
She hasn't returned for a visit yet Rusty, but we do chat quite amicably when we happen to meet up anywhere. Maybe it is a situation best left as it is, no more complications or explanations.
A neighbour just dropping in like that would really irritate me. I would expect her to knock and if invited in, knowing that we would be nude, I would expect her to go nude too. At Casa Rio Vera a bunch of Maggie and Simon's friends from the village came round one Sunday afternoon and most stripped naked, though one young woman kept her clothes on because one of the other women present, naked, looked after her cat!
You are right. Sometimes, like we said in portuguese, is better to put the "dots" over the "iiiii" before it is too late. I would do the same. Good luck for you.
It's hard when friends are too casual with one's home and stuff and this applies in textile as much as naturist places. gently change the situation rather than a confrontation is my view. What you do now is hard and the best I can suggest is that great healer – time.
Thanks Richard, we agree that in time things will be easier and perhaps our neighbour will be more friendly than she is at present, but not invasive!
Invite her round to tea or coffee and see how she reacts
My wife spoke to her this morning apparently. She seemed friendly enough but she made some comment about 'staying indoors where I feel comfortable'
So I guess we'll leave things alone for now.
has your neibour been over for a visit since you had a word with her Patrick,if not .
maybe the lady is waiting for a more formal invitite
patrick, has she ever hinted that she would like to be nude too?
No she hasn't. (not to us anyway!)
Patrick….Just curious, has she been over, or at least chatted with you since the sit down?
I have spoken to her in the street near a local store, she was polite & pleasant just saying something like
"Have a good day & grab any deals they do in there, it isn't often we spot the good things is it?"
So I think she isn't too offended but not quite 'friends' just yet.
Sounds like a strange remark or am I just being paranoid?
I wondered if there was a hidden meaning too, but then I decided not to think like that, looking for interpretations can possibly cause more confusion.
It seems your neighbor misunderstood the friendship. She clearly felt quite comfortable coming to your home and just hang out, especially considering she was ok with your nudity. I think between your comfort being nude around her and the fact that she has been able to come visit w/o you complaining, she misread things. While i understand your annoyance, I am unsure if you handled it well. Yes you should speak but I would have done it in a less formal manner. By putting on your clothing and sitting her down, it took a very serious turn. She may be feeling ashamed and embarrassed. While I do not think you need to apologize, you should invite her back, speak to her in the nude state she knows you to live, and simply explain that you and your wife do not mind having her coming over but just requesting she gives you guys the heads up. Even if you do all that, I am unsure if it will change anything. It may take her time to accept things and be comfortable again to come over. This whole thing may have changed the nature and ease of your relationship with her for good.
Send her a peace offering to let her know you still love her.
I disagree with a peace offering. She was being disrespectful of the home by just walking in, not knocking 1st. She should not be rewarded for such action.
She felt included before, but was reprimanded which she took as a insult. And being dressed rather than naked has changed her casual acceptance. She may now be your neighborhood enemy, its hard to guess.
My sense is that in requesting her to come over to inform/reprimanded her it was akin to being called to the principal's office and embarrassing.
She may have felt that you had already accepted her as part of the family due to your nudity and that you hadn't stopped her intrusion previously.
(edited) changing "dress down" to "reprimanded")
My opinion is that he handled it well. As it being YOUR home, YOU make the rules. Should she not like the rules, too bad. She needs to respect your home and feelings. I am quite sure she has House Rules for her home, and you would respect them if situation was reversed.
I wonder why she came in so often? I am tempted to say it may have been better to tackle each aspect of her behaviour separately, at different times but what I really feel is this: She is in a huff at receiving feedback that she didn't like, possibly thinking some of it was justified or else all totally unjustified, and you will be doing without her company for a long time; on the other hand, she's been getting on your nerves so unless she starts acting in an antagonistic way, you haven't really lost anything. On balance, I might have done just the same as you did, if she was irritating me as much as she seemed to be getting to you. If I really valued her company, I might have tried to take it more slowly but probably would still have done what you did. This probably doesn't help because it is a very awkward problem to tackle.